


Counting your Zombies

by the_lazy_resi



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: Attempt at Humor, F/F, Halloween, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-28 04:45:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8432356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_lazy_resi/pseuds/the_lazy_resi
Summary: It was only after you killed the fifth zombie that you began to wonder why they were all knocking on the door holding bags of candy.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to @writing-prompt-s on Tumblr for the prompt!

Jane was in a foul mood..again. Everything went wrong and it seems as if the whole world was against her.

Grumbling and in a mood that kept everyone at a safe distance from her, including Maura her best friend and fiancee, she went home.

A loud sigh van relief went through the precinct, finally they could get ready for their annual Halloween party!

You should know that Jane, a decorated Detective of the Boston PD, was a good cop, a fine specimen of a woman, most of the times, but when it came to anything related to festivities, she became grumpy and refused to participate.

So for peace of serenity, mostly of their own one, her colleges never mentioned anything that had to do with Christmas-parties, New Year receptions or what seems even worst for Jane: Halloween!

Why she especially Halloween didn't like, no hated it, nobody knew, but better not ask Jane, if you love your balls...

Only one person knows the truth although nobody knows it or even dared to ask her, and that was Maura Isles.  
And even if you ever dared to do so, Maura keeps this secret buried deep under facts you never will find on Google or Wikipedia...

..

It happened two years ago on Halloween...

 

"No, Maura, I don't wanna go to that awful BPD Halloween shit party. It's boring and I don't want to dress up like an idiot, just for fun. No, correction. I don't want to dress like an idiot never ever again. My years as an undercover prostitute for the drug-unit are enough of fulfilling my needs to ever dress up again!"

"But, Jane, it will be fun. I will be dressed like a mermaid...very under-dressed as I may add. Afterwards I let my fins fall, especially for you..." Maura said in her sweetest voice. She even did the tilting of her head and showed her loveliest dimples to Jane, but Jane was adamant.

"No! No! NO!" she said vehemently. And so it came that Maura (at that time just her best friend) went alone to the Halloween party and Jane stayed in the, for the occasion, decorated house in Bacon house, where Maura lived.

Alone and moping...

..

So moping and grumbling and not in her best mood ever, Jane 'conquered' Maura's liqueur-cabinet with great enthusiasm.

After a lot of booze and a little of snooze she woke up to the sound of loud knocking and the clattering of chains outside the house.

"Damn, you motherfuckers," Jane barked out loud, "Who the heck is molesting the front-door at this God's unholy hour!"

Taking her gun with her she went to the front door, opened it and before she knew it at least 4 Zombies stuck their evil fingers at her. In a reflection, she aimed her Glock and... 'Pang-pang-pang-pang-pang'!

Laying in front of her, stapled like a bunch of rag-dolls laid the corpses of 4, no 5 Zombies, and Jane was about to do a victory dance as conscious set in, in her still alcohol (con)fused brain.

'Holy fucking shit, it's Halloween. These are people dressed up as Zombies.! Jane panicked, what should she do now?

Luckily Maura's front-door was very private and no one had seen her shooting them, so Jane decided to take them, until further notice, into Maura's garage.

After a loud of inner swearing, and a back pain that lasted for two weeks, she had somehow managed to transport the corpses of the unfortunate Zombie's/people into Maura's garage.

'Maura! Calling Maura' was her next thought and she did just that.

After a lot of trying and swearing she finally got a hold of her secret love interest and persuaded her to come home and help Jane out in 'a little matter of urgency', as Jane in her desperate wisdom told her.

..

Maura was as sure as a bruised baby's ass, not amused that she had to leave to Halloween party and after ventilating her anger towards Jane she lends her 'listening ear' to this 'little matter of urgency' Jane told her about on the phone.

And after telling and showing Maura the results of her booze indicated 'little matter', a few confessions of her undying love for Maura, a few kisses, a little something-something with boob-grabbing and lot of 'not suitable for children' actions, they both decided to get rid of Jane's 'little matters' and so they did...

..

And so it comes that Jane hates Halloween and Maura still goes to Halloween parties alone. But now they created their own tradition, because when Maura comes back home: They share a few kisses, a little something-something with boob-grabbing and lot of 'not suitable for children' actions...

 

####


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